#i dont care about this film or book or drama to be clear but i do think it's fucked up they marketed it without the dv

[n7punk]

saw someone defending blake lively treating It Ends With Us as a romcom by saying "she's just trying to make some light out of the situation" like babes you're so close just take two steps to the left and realize that's making light of the situation

[thosch3i]

Hi hi! So the lost tombs and chronology all super confuse me. So tlt2 ended on a cliffhanger that was not resolved by tlt3 which is ultimate note, but now there is another tlt3 that I am guessing is made by the same studio as tlt2 (but not UN) that actually follows tlt2? And it has the same WPZ as tlt2 (but sadly different WX, ZQL though I’m sure these guys are great). You seem to know what you’re talking about so I’m hoping you can help!

UN also ended on a cliff hanger so I’m wondering if they’ll get a sequel from their studio that comes before tomb of the sea.

ahhh hello anon! yes ahaha the dmbj dramas are certainly very confusing--because they keep switching the screenwriters/entire production team between dramas. huanrui did tlt1 (2015), tlt2 (2019), and the sequel to tlt2 (2021). they're also technically the production company for un (2020), but linghe did like all the directing/casting/writing so its significantly different in tone and quality from the other dramas huanrui produced. npss (dmbj author) did sha hai (2018) and tltr (2020), with sha hai being in collab with linghe, so you can see lots of parallels with un and shared cast. (gonna add that i dont know much about the m9 because that’s not what im personally interested in, so i’m only going by stories with wu xie & the iron triangle.)

unfortunately, the dramas pretty have no continuity as a result of all the weird shit and multiple studios doing different dramas and messy stuff going on behind the scenes. the author's production company currently has all the rights back for filming future dramas, which is......imo, a good thing for book fans who love the author but a 😬 thing for book fans who like the original story more than what the author is now doing with it. I'll uh avoid saying too much opinion stuff though so no more on that 😅

that aside! yes 云顶天宫 “explore with the note” part 2......is the direct sequel to tlt2 and done by the same studio. unfortunately the writers are different and im not sure how much of the production team is the same either. idk how much you know about the novels so brief summary here--for the chinese version, the main story has 9 parts split among 8 books (though the official eng tls have each part being a different book) with some important content being as follows:

official eng title “cavern of blood zombies” (first time wx goes into a tomb, first t3j meeting)

official eng title “angry sea, hidden sands” (xisha seabed tomb, introduce a-ning)

official eng title “bronze tree of death” (bronze tree in qinling, wx & lao yang solo adventure)

official eng title “palace of doom” (heavenly palace on the clouds, introduce bronze gate)

official eng title “deadly desert winds” (golmud, introduce hei xiazi, desert, rainforest, tamutuo)

official eng title “graveyard of a queen” (the rest of that arc, wu sanxing & xie lianhuan reveal, jade meteorite, amnesiac xiaoge and escape, sanshu vanishes for good--also i think the official eng tl covers a couple chapters of the beginning of the next part too)

阴山古楼 (searching for xiaoge’s memories in banai, miluotuo cave, i think introduction of wu erbai)

邛笼石影 (auction/hotel iron triangle fight, introduce xiao hua & xiuxiu, wx & xh on the mountains alone while pz & xg go with granny huo)

finale (rescue from zhang family mansion, changbai mountain goodbye, 10 years promise)

after the main story are the main sequels:

zang hai hua (tibetan sea flower; unfinished & abandoned) covers wu xie a few years after xiaoge has entered the gate, searching to understand xiaoge’s past

sha hai (tomb of the sea; unfinished & abandoned) covers wu xie’s plan to wipe out the wang family, after zhh

chongqi (reunion: the sound of the providence) covers wu xie’s lung disease and how he recovers from that, set after they pick up xiaoge again from the bronze gate. thunder city and everything.

��海寻尸&万山极夜 (still updating on wechat) don’t worry about this one since it’s still a WIP lol

btw between sha hai and chongqi there’s also ten years later (a short story) that covers how wu xie and pangzi pick up xiaoge from the bronze gate and take him home

the dramas Do Not Connect To Each Other At All, which the exception of tlt2 & tlt2 pt2 somewhat, but they go in this order:

盗墓笔记 / the lost tomb 1 (2015): covers part 1 but with major OCs and filler, and includes the auction scene from part 8 for some reason, so introduces xiao hua early.

怒海潜沙&秦岭神树 / the lost tomb 2 (2019) technically “explore with the note”: covers parts 2 & 3 but with major OCs and filler, introduces xiao hua & xiuxiu (and hei xiazi briefly) early. last couple episodes also cover the beginning of part 4. not a direct sequel to tlt1 despite being done by the same studio.

云顶天宫 / heavenly palace on the clouds (2021) technically also “explore with the note”: covers part 4 with major OCs and filler (and the same changes carrying over from tlt2). some episodes are identical to the last couple episodes of tlt2. works as a direct sequel only if you ignore the last couple episodes of tlt2 that take place in the snowy mountains. (those episodes of tlt2 were filmed after this drama was filmed, and im still not sure why they dragged the wu xie and xiaoge from tlt2 back to changbai mountain to film those episodes.)

终极笔记 / ultimate note (2020): covers parts 5-8 with minor OCs and minimal filler, also introduces xiao hua & xiuxiu early. the only adaptation that resembles its source material most of the time.

沙海 / tomb of the sea (2018): covers the second sequel with major OCs and filler. includes some bits from zhh and the short story “three days of silence”.

重启之极海听雷 / the lost tomb reboot (2020): covers third sequel with major OCs and filler.

in addition there is the prequel series mystic nine (2016) and side movies for the dramas that the author produced. there is also a single standalone movie--time raiders (2016) that is....well it’s. very strange. it’s fully subbed on youtube if you’re interested?

the best way to watch the dramas is to assume each one is its own self-contained AU set along different points of the dmbj timeline because even the dramas the author himself worked on don’t have continuity LOL (and with the exception of ultimate note & sha hai most of the time, also assume most characters are pretty OOC from the novels).

i uh regret to inform you though, that ultimate note will not be getting a sequel unless the author magically decides to not care about making money anymore and sells the rights to film the finale to linghe or something ^^;;;; it’s....unfortunate bc un is the most highly-rated dmbj adaptation on douban by A Lot, but it’s an adaptation that the author had literally nothing to do with whatsoever.

more information on some of the side movies/stage plays/manhua/donghua here.

summaries of the main novel stories (currently through zhh) here.

edited mtl (some of which has apparently been looked over by native cn speakers) of the novels following where official eng tls end here. (there are many scattered extras as well.)

you can get the official eng tl books/ebooks on amazon or elsewhere(?), but if you have problems purchasing them or like you just dont wanna support amazon or something, dm me off anon. (also i dont want to be mean but frankly the official tls are kinda bad too ^^;;;)

a rough timeline (spoilers galore) for the dmbj novels here. (fair warning im not 100% sure how accurate all of this is--they put three days of silence as 1991 but looking at the info in zhh, it seems like it should have been before the 1950s...but it’s more than fine as a general overview.)

anyway i hope that was helpful in some way? dmbj is a Very Confusing thing to get into ahahaha, one of my twitter mutuals has made a few carrds if you think they might be helpful: book, dramas (slightly out of date bc it says heavenly palace hasn’t aired yet), ultimate note (got its own carrd by virtue of being the only adaptation aside from sha hai sometimes that most og book fans acknowledge lol ^^;;;)

also anon if anything wasn’t clear or if you had more questions feel free to ask again sorry ahahaha im kinda tired rn @.@ 

[blxetsi]

modern eren jaeger dating headcanons

lowercase intended !

college!eren jaeger x gn!reader

warnings: mentions of p*rnhub

- firstly, this man is CONVINCED it was love at first sight (he ALWAYS tells you this too)

- "babe when i met you i just KNEW you were gonna be mine" "no you didnt" "yes i did- hey dont stop holding me 😣"

- you guys met because you were tutoring him. (he was failing history 😔💔)

- after weeks of shy touches and shared giggles he FINALLY brought his grade up and didnt need you anymore

- that didnt mean he didnt want you tho ;)

- asked you out on a date (and by that i mean to a party smh 🙄)

- and the rest is history 😌✨

- hes the kind of guy that flirts with you even though youre together

- "so uh,, you come here often 😏"

- "eren youre in my apartment 😐"

- he tries to invite you everywhere that he goes with his friends

- like,,, EVERYWHERE

- jean and reiner wanna organize a boys night ? hes pulling out his phone getting ready to text you and saying "oh is it okay if y/n comes ? i didnt get to see them much this week i miss them 🥺" like mf this is for The Boyz 😡😤🥶🥵🔥‼️

- youre weirdly close with sasha, shes just really cool

- eren will call you at the most inconvenient times for the stupidest reasons

- one time he called you while you were doing an INTERVIEW for work and you wanna know what he called you for ? to tell you he bought a bunch of silly string to use on jean.

- bitch im trying to get PAID. rn . trying to make a LIVING. so i dont end up below the POVERTY LINE. tell me about ur silly string after i secure the bag 🙄‼️

- is very touchy. like very touchy.

- but also respects bounderies

- hes NEVER mad when you have something to say about him or your relationship together

- you dont feel comfortable with the pda ?? He Wont do it Again

- you think you two could work on communicating better with each other ?? hes already googling ways to do that

- he cares and cherishes you and the bond you two have created together, hes not gonna try and ruin that

- is a fucking lightweight. dont go with him to parties.

- but if you asked him to hold his drink he will NOT forget about it.

- a couple times he broke the plastic cup he was gripping it so hard 🤩

- is also the type of guy to just protect others ?? like for no reason

- he sees a guy trying to get close to a girl who had made it abundantly clear that she didnt want that ?? hes going over there and playing bf to protect that stranger

- he can thank first year drama class for his superb acting skills 😌✨

- will literally help anyone he sees in a bind

- also his brother is weirdly cool ??

- his parents live far away but his brother only lives like,, 40 minutes away from the university

- hes like an older brother to everyone 🤩

- if you like reading classic literature zeke is your guy to talk to. has so many ideas and opinions on those stories and stuff, and will NOT hesitate to lend you a book of his

- eren has led lights in his room. he ALWAYS has them on the colour red

- he doesnt understand why ppl think hes horny bc of the red lights ?? his eyes just adjust better to the red lights compared to the blue 😔

- he has stretch marks all over his body 🤩 like on his biceps, tummy, back, thighs, etc. etc. doesnt really think about them anymore but he used to be SO self conscious of them in highschool. he saw berty (bertholdt) with his shirt off once during his freshman year and saw how he had stretch marks too, and immediately thought they were cool

- he likes to play with your hair and scratch your scalp, but he likes it when you braid his hair because he thinks it makes him look pretty

- will get you weird things because they remind him of you

- one time he came to pick you up for your date and before you could even KISS HIM hes pushing you away and pulling out a tiny ceramic frog 😐

- "no you dont understand zeke took me to a thrift store today and i found this and it reminded me of you-" "i look like a frog to you ? is that what youre saying ?" "NO ! its just so cute, and youre so cute so i had to get it. do you like it 😊"

- doesnt like most meats, his only exceptions are chicken,

- thats it 😐

- you guys were having a picnic and you made sandwichs (with the sliced turkey meat) and he took one bite out of it, looked you in your face, and spit it back into the baggy without breaking eye contact

- likes just laying in bed with you. has a playlist of songs like arctic monkeys and shit like that, just sitting in the dark with a song on low volume, whispering whatever he wants into your ear is like,, the DEFINITION of love in his book

- also can and will recite lines from shakespeare plays to you ?? will be at the most randomest times. you could be sweeping and he'd just wrap his arms around you before whispering "two households, both alike in dignity. in fair verona where we lay our scene. from ancient grudge break to new mutiny, where civil blood makes civil hands unclean."

- okay mf this isnt english class 😐‼️ but thank you 😁👍

- will always try and do new tiktok trends and make funny videos so he can "blow up"

- he gets on average like 20 views 🤩

- he likes seeing you and his friends get along, it just makes him so happy that you love mikasa and armin just as much as he does, and hes so thankful that youre all friends

- likes to help you reach whatever you cant, and if youre taller (even by an inch) hes making you grab things for him

- he doesnt have a major yet, and he doesnt really know what he wants to do with his life, but being a hairstylist sounds cool

- whenever youre having a bad day mentally, he'll just give you your space unless you say otherwise

- he doesnt know if its the best idea, but he knows when he gets into a bad headspace he wants to be alone

- if you do say you want him with you, he'll lie right beside you in bed and spoon you, and if you want he'll put on the arctic monkeys playlist and whisper about the project he worked on for his business class

- he doesnt like sharing, BUT will steal your shit all the time 🙄

- "oh hey heres that thing i borrowed from you" "oh my fucking god eren i thought i lost that months ago"

- may not understand everything he learns in class, but he always tries bc this is his education !! his parents saved up a lot of money for him to be able to go to university !! hes gonna try his best to make the most of this

- i feel like he would play baseball at university. he asks that u wear his jersey to every game so "everyone knows that the most beautiful person attending this educational establishment is MINE" like,, k ill wear the jersey 🙄🤚

- has a list of the best websites to use to illegally stream movies, anime etc.

NSFW ! -------

- also hates pornhub. knows about all the controversies and shit about the website and doesnt use it. supports smaller porn companies that respect their workers 😁👍

- his parents love you. Im Serious

- carla asks about you all the time (hey mommy 😏) and his dad wonders about you too even though hes more lowkey about it

- always has to open the door for you or pull out your chair for you. no matter what setting youre in he Has to do it bc hes a gentleman

- bohemian rhapsody is his comfort film

- i think eren thinks that Youre the One for him, and this idea is solidified when you two graduate together 😍

- he takes you back to the library where he first met you, gives you a promise ring and just asks you to move in with him, hes not ready for an engagement and he knows you arent either, but he knows that youre it for him, and he just wants to be with you for as long as youll allow it

GAH this felt all over the place and very mediocre but i hope you enjoyed !!! remember asks are open so feel free to request something 🤩

[bmpmp3]

Ok so we talk about cliches that we like but you know a cliche I hate? Love triangles. Rarely do I ever see them done well and they're usually just shoehorned in for some artificial drama instead of actually being creative. Like who's the mc gonna pick? The person they've spent all this time growing close with and developing a bond of mutual character growth or this dude who just showed up like an hour ago?

god love triangles are such a mess of a trope because like I FEEL....IT CAN BE USED FOR GOOD like one of my favourite anime when i was younger was School Rumble so the comedy potential of love triangles (and other polygons) is there but then you have late ninties early 2000s drama shoujo manga love triangles where its just like damn.............please god you each have two hands just date eachother together

also the specific example you mentioned, it is truly the worst.... i dont see it often outside of young adult paranormal romance novels i read in middle school (this is probably because 98% of what i read is shoujo manga from 10-20 years ago hjfdgfdshdfsm) but I hated it so bad....brown hair white girl already was in love with white boy #1 WHO is this white boy #2 and WHY should i care......i cant tell them apart theyre both BLONDE and have names like JOSH or JASON or whatever..........that last bit might be why i struggled a little with young adult books as a kid fjdsnbvdsskds

I do think theres a lot of potential with stuff like love triangles and like multiple people in love with the same person, that sorta situation, a while ago I listened to the Film Reroll podcast where they played a dnd game with the movie Aladdin and I genuinely think that the roll-to-not-fall-in-love mechanic they had going on created one of the most interesting love polygon I’ve seen in the past 5 years and i KNOW how I sound right now im so sorry its just its about the intricacies!!! the web of unrequited love............ anyway I think theres a lot of fun and potential with love triangle situations but I think a big problem with media with love triangles is they focus so aggressively on the dilemma of “oooh who will the main character choooose” (especially in things where it’s obvious who the main character will choose) when it could be so much more interesting exploring the emotions of the characters involved like characters moving on or falling in and out of love between eachother....amicable breakups and rejections.....ones that are specifically NOT amicable....i think there is INTEREST and CREATIVITY to be had narratively qwq even the melodrama can be fun sometimes.................. alas tho so many love triangles are like you said, shoehorned in with little exploration

going off of that tho, with certain things like otome games and really any video game with romance elements, because of the inherent personal-ness of the medium, like even if you dont self insert you still feel like You Are Doing The Game, like even if you dont identify or see yourself in Link, when you play a zelda game you tend to say “I cleared that dungeon” rather than “Link cleared that dungeon”, yknow? So like with video games specifically because of it’s inherent encouragement of self-insertion I do think love triangles, even well written ones, may need to be handled a little more delicately

like I really like the love rival formula in Ikemen Sengoku, how every boy has another boy in his route who’s varying degrees of in love with the main character (with varying degrees of success at being well written too, Mitsuhide as a love rival is famously pretty good, I love Sasuke and Mitsunari, Yoshimoto was good but I personally felt Ranmaru would have been more thematically satisfying, Nobunaga was a drive-by love rival and its the funniest thing in the world to me), but I also know that the love rival story beat makes a lot of people feel real bad and thats not neccessarily what everyone wants in their fun viddy game, I know thats a thing in other otome games and other games with romance in general, people feeling like theyre cheating on the other love interests or they feel like they’re breaking another love interest’s heart, that kinda thing

oh man and recently I found out that the original version of Harvest Moon Friends of Mineral Town had a mechanic where after a while, characters who you could marry would get married to other people if they werent married to you, and like some people like it cause it makes it feel like the world’s more alive, it actually made me interested in playing the original because I love the concept of a game mechanic where I Steal Yo Girl for comedic reasons BUT also lots of people didnt care for the mechanic, from what i can tell it made some folks feel super bad like they’re stealing someones gf and like, thats completely understandable honestly, video games have such a unique relationship with “action” and “who” is doing said “action” between the player and the player character, they’ve got this connection emotionally we can’t really sever easily so video games I definitely think should be especially cautious about how love triangles and love rivalry is handled

im sorry i wrote an essay with a bajillion sidetracks.......I just have lots of thoughts all the time and I think its fun to discuss these things and ur ask was good,,,,... its lots of fun to talk about tropes, ones you like, ones you hate, ones you want to see done better njgkfddjgfksafdsa gomennnnn

[lucozdes-blog]

finally !! here’s the intro guides to my children !! blease....plot with me. 

(lee taeyong, he/him, bisexual)  HEY, ISN'T THAT  [KIM JEONGMIN]? YEAH, THE [TWENTY-THREE] YEAR OLD [CISMALE] FROM [SOUTH KOREA]! YEAH, I HEARD THEY'RE THE [FASHION DESIGN] STUDENT AT THE UNIVERSITY OF AMSTERDAM  NOW! LET'S HOPE THEIR STAY HERE IS AN ADVENTUROUS ONE! (dani, twenty, she/her, pst)

jeongmin is a fashionista, from designing original pieces to styling. 

his current aesthetic: goth street looks. think seoul fashion week. 

he loves nothing more than styling his friends or anyone who asks for help; he works within your budget and closet. he knows how and where to find deals and just overall very resourceful. 

he’s all for the environment too, the studio is filled with a variety of recyclable bin from plastic to old garments. 

he works as a part time visual for a retail store, it’s only a couple hours three mornings a week when he doesn’t have class, it’s good to have some sort of income. plus they pay him well considering his major and eye for new campaigns. 

he’s the guy with a variety of hook up numbers on his phone, never by name but with an emoji and number next to it. he’s a hoe (no jk i love him) and finds validation with the amount of people he sleeps with honestly it’s sad i don’t think he’s ever been in a genuine relationship. it’s just angst n heartbreak so he’d rather just sleep with ppl. 

anyways, his goal? design for the met gala and BE IN the met gala to show all those celebrities how it’s TRULY done. 

hic current look: taeyong in the chain mv. 

(nam joohyuk, he/him, bisexual)  HEY, ISN'T THAT  [MOON HANJAE]? YEAH, THE [TWENTY-FOUR] YEAR OLD [CISMALE] FROM [SOUTH KOREA]! YEAH, I HEARD THEY'RE THE [PERFORMANCE] STUDENT AT THE UNIVERSITY OF AMSTERDAM  NOW! LET'S HOPE THEIR STAY HERE IS AN ADVENTUROUS ONE! (dani, twenty, she/her, pst)

my son whomst i BIRTHED 

part of the fuccboi squad...SHOUT OUT..shout out..aahhhh..was popping ooooo

he’s obnoxious and loud and dramatic and YET people love him thank you very much. doesn’t know when to stop honestly someone kick his ass. 

he’s been to school everywhere, studying abroad for high school, doing a year in england, a year at julliard and finally amsterdam, i’m just going to say he’s been here for 3 years and he’s going to graduate next semester. 

he’s a performance/composition major and the LEAD of the orchestra because he’s just that talented that vivaldi is shaking in his grave. a prodigy if you will because it’s not the only instrument he can play but his favorite. 

he comes from a home of socialites back in busan, his family dabbles in the arts. his family also decided his fate: arranged marriage. it’s a secret though, only haebin and haneul know about it. 

cue why he’s part of the squad, he went through people so fast, indulging himself in variety knowing that after he graduates he’ll be tied down and he hates the very idea of it. which is why he’s an ass and wont accept that he maybe really likes misun more than a hook-up, also the reason why he’s BEEN OUT OF THE GAME that the lads are noticing lmao 

anyways he’s a disaster but he loves his friends so much he just wants to Protecc

(kwon jiyong, he/him, bisexual)  HEY, ISN'T THAT [AHN DAEHYUN], THE [TWENTY-FIVE] YEAR OLD [CISMALE] FROM [SOUTH KOREA]? YEAH, I HEARD THEY'RE THE [ENT. BUSINESS] STUDENT AT THE UNIVERSITY OF AMSTERDAM  NOW! LET'S HOPE THEIR STAY HERE IS AN ADVENTUROUS ONE! (dani, 20, she/her, pst)

he is the mom friend probably idk he’s always dd when the lads go out and does a run down of who’s where and if they’re ok before calling it a night when they go out 

he doesn’t party often, it’s honestly rare for him to go ALL OUT unless he knows he can handle it and he’s with minji who knows about his chronic fatigue syndrome 

it’s back and forth, getting rest doesn’t help him at all and so he’s taken up dancing as a hobby again, just one class where he can a good amount of exercise without stressing himself too much when he has too much on his plate

he’s all good now though, it’s part of him but it wasn’t as bad as when he used to be a trainee; daehyun was gonna become an idol if it weren’t for his health issues.

he moved to cali for a while to go to school there and check out an american industry but decided that entertainment business might be better for him, less stressful and he gets to manage and help people who wish to be part of it. 

anyways he sounds like a monotone dad when he texts but in person he’s more into conversations, a good time, and he really loves the lads. 

he’s also lowkey dating taemin’s sister but no one knows that lol.

(kim minseok, he/him, homosexual)  HEY, ISN'T THAT [CHOI JISOO], THE [TWENTY-THREE] YEAR OLD [CISMALE] FROM [THE US]? YEAH, I HEARD THEY'RE THE [PERFORMANCE] STUDENT AT THE UNIVERSITY OF AMSTERDAM  NOW! LET'S HOPE THEIR STAY HERE IS AN ADVENTUROUS ONE! (dani, 20, she/her, pst)

BOY, JISOO PROBABLY IS MY ONLY CHAR WITH A WILDT BACKGROUND

he’s from san francisco, ca. comes from a wealthy family, his dad was the ceo and founder of a large company ( dont ask me abt what yet tbh i’m thinking about it ); however the company only became big because they launder money. maybe deal with extortion but you know. 

jisoo had it all though, he had the luxuries, he had the city, the parties, everything. only child, he was next in line to take over and actually? he didn’t mind at all if he kept living the way he was, and bonus points? his dad didn’t give a fuck about his sexuality. it was a dream. 

until his crazy ass mom destroyed everything. she killed his dad but was found innocent in court because she bought the judge, and the jury? all hired by her. he was in that very courtroom when she was found innocent and before he knew it, he was being dragged out by his dad’s old lawyer and best friend. he needed to get out of there fast. 

jisoo is the only one who’s allowed to touch his inheritance, his dad made it very clear that everything was to go to him. his mother still had a joint account and she still has enough to live off until she’s dying from old age but her new boy toy, 10 years younger than her kinda wants the company. 

jisoo knows his mom killed his dad, he doesn’t have the evidence but he’s going to bring her down through the law or without the law because she took everything from him and he’s still reeling over it, he still has nightmares of finding his dad’s body. 

and also, choi jisoo is an alias. no one knows his real name. (lol not even me, i’ll get back to you on that). 

he’s in witness protection right now, undercover as a student from florida. he figured he might as well take some fun classes aka acting, dance, and studio arts. he doesn’t care for it knowing his life is set out but might as well. 

(kim namjoon, he/him, bisexual)  HEY, ISN'T THAT  [ZANDER YU]? YEAH, THE [TWENTY-FOUR] YEAR OLD [CISMALE] FROM [THE US]! YEAH, I HEARD THEY'RE THE [PHOTOGRAPHY] STUDENT AT THE UNIVERSITY OF AMSTERDAM  NOW! LET'S HOPE THEIR STAY HERE IS AN ADVENTUROUS ONE! (dani, 20, she/her, pst)

well, well, well if it isn’t the jack kerouac wanna-be. jk. he’s really not a bad person. maybe.

zander is a photographer, never staying in one place too long. he actually just arrived from mexico city and amsterdam is going to be the place he finishes his second degree. 

he’s basically that indie boy from all the coming-of-age films, an enigma if you will. simply because they way he presents himself is charming, fun, friendly. he’s the type of guy you get a crush on just because of how attentive he is, how he makes you feel so interesting, how he looks at you and touches you. and he knows it. 

he can read people’s emotions, he knows exactly how someone will feel before they feel it simply because of logic and tactic. 

he’s incredibly smart, pretentious even but that’s part of the charm. he talks about music, books, movies. his travels. he makes people fall for him because it’s fun, it sends a rush through him knowing someone is willing to do anything for him and then...he’s gone. because he can’t do the same for you, he doesn’t feel anything for anyone. he likes the concept of being with someone, idolizing them and then leaving them and he does it in a way that you can’t really point your finger at him and blame him. 

he’s really good at pretending to be someone he’s not tbh. like i want to emphasize that because i want to play him in a way that you really fall for it you know. anyways YEAH. 

(josefine frida pettersen, she/her, pansexual)  HEY, ISN'T THAT  [LEONIE SCHÄFER]? YEAH, THE [TWENTY-ONE] YEAR OLD [CISFEMALE] FROM [GERMANY]! YEAH, I HEARD THEY'RE THE [SOCIOLOGY] STUDENT AT THE UNIVERSITY OF AMSTERDAM  NOW! LET'S HOPE THEIR STAY HERE IS AN ADVENTUROUS ONE! (dani, twenty, she/her, pst)

remember what i said abt a drunk josefine fc who ends up ranting abt how toxic capitalism is and why communism isn’t the answer like all those tumblr folk like to say? WELL HERE SHE IS 

she’s not a drunk lmao but if she’s at family dinners with the conservative side of her family, she GOES OFF she probably wouldnt go off at parties here unless she bumped into some asshole who wanted to mansplain something to her or whatever 

she’s no poli-sci major, she takes a class but it’s only for her to get educated and accumulate more knowledge to back her up in her actual major and just to be prepared for arguments 

i hate to say this bc wow cliche ! but....definitely noora vibes akhkjh i’m SORRY 

she really enjoys going to the weed cafes though, catch her in there with a book just enjoying her free time 

she has an accent !! considering english is her third language and french is secondl german obviously being the first. it’s cute rlly i was watching accent videos akljdhfj

still shes fluent in all three because it’s leonie why not 

her aesthetic would probably be better described by donna tartt but i’ll give it a go: cigarettes in her own special metallic case, long coats, boots, very formal/casual, billie holiday records, period drama movies as well as empowering movies, beige/dark browns and black, the smell of coffee beans, aesthetic instagram 

anyways uhh idk what else to add tbh if i think of anything i’ll mention it in the hc server on discord aklsjhdk

[nothingneverforever]

Yesterday (2019)

When I’d just seen the trailers and promo stuff for Yesterday, there was some great excitement in me. I loved The Beatles years ago, I mean, I really really loved them, I’ve got about 15 books on them, borrowed my mom’s credit card to shop online for DVDs of all their original movies when I was 14, etc etc, so Yesterday’s premise added up and seemed to look like something I’d enjoy: Danny Boyle, mysterious ultra-niche alternate reality in an otherwise utterly regular world, some kind of deadpan irony about the whole situation���

Then it came and went in cinemas and I never got down to seeing it. So I watched instead this film review by DazzReviews on Youtube, titled “Yesterday Missed A MASSIVE OPPORTUNITY (SPOILERS)”.  It’s a short and simple analysis of key weaknesses of the film, being that its actual contents greatly pale in comparison to its great potential. Even without watching the film, I understood Dazz’s gripe because even seeing snippets of the film bored me. It is such a unique, and almost cute idea afterall: a blackout causing selective loss of memory in every single individual in this world (save for 3, later to be discussed) where post-blackout, The Beatles and other cultural/social phenomenon do not and have never existed. Our protagonist, who pre-blackout was a struggling singer/songwriter, then decides to release Beatles songs from his memory as his own, thus gaining global popularity and attracting immense adoration. It’s not novel, perhaps reminiscent of time-travel narratives idk, but it’s still fun right?  

Yet even after watching this review video and understanding the film’s flaws and being able to imagine how disappointing the film would have been, watching it in full for myself was still an upsetting experience. Google tells me that Yesterday is of the ‘Drama/Fantasy’ genre, which gives me a good starting point for my critique: how utterly un-fantastical it is.

Our protagonist Jack Malik is LITERALLY the most vanilla, ungrateful, boring, not-alive, nothing-at-all, annoying, pathetically male (in terms of tantrum-throwing and ingratitude) character I have ever seen. None of this is hyperbolic, his character literally sucks so freakin much omfg, absolutely devoid of any redeeming or even remotely INTERESTING qualities at all. In fact save for maybe one scene (which I will talk about below), I don’t think there was another single second in the entire film where we saw him smiling. This is not to say that he’s portrayed as especially tortured or depressed in demeanor, merely to indicate his absolute dearth of warmth and personality.

Meanwhile, it becomes clear as the boring film progresses boringly that Yesterday is in fact nothing more than a love story. The cute Beatles twist is merely a device to show us how Jack and his “love interest” Ellie (inverted commas cos their love sucks omfg I cant imagine that ANYONE viewing it is convinced) were in fact meant to be, with Jack’s momentary superstardom existing to show him that all he ever wanted was his old life, the one with Ellie (even though they were never together because THEY ARENT EVEN MEANT TO BE IN THE FIRST PLACE OKAY….). But, just as Jack’s character itself is flawed and awfully written, our female protagonist Ellie is SOOOOOO early 2000s. Just think of the most typical stock supportive, sweet, pretty, unfailingly kind and patient female whose presence is taken for granted etc etc… So her stock sweetie pie female character coupled with the most unbelievably charmless and unlikable male character make for the most unshippable couple you could possibly imagine. We are supposed to be charmed by her obvious-to-everyone-except-him love for Jack, supposed to have our heartstrings tugged by the singular scene of teenage schoolgirl her standing by the wings of the stage with hearts in her eyes while teenage schoolboy him sings a most soulless rendition of Wonderwall but it literally does absolutely nothing. The means has not met the end! This is a grossly uninspiring love story and there is no fantasy whatsoever!!

Honestly how is this even a Danny Boyle product? But then again… Zhang Yimou, boasting the incredibly genius Raise the Red Lantern (1992) on his resume, also did The Great Wall (2016) so I guess even heroes have the right to bleed or even the best fall down sometimes or something. OMG WAIT  I just googled the film again and not only is it directed by Danny Boyle but also written by Richard Curtis LOL wtfffffffffff okay this is the worst film ever seriously

Early on just after the global blackout thing, before Jack becomes the huge superstar that he does after his music (“his” music) is released into the world, when he first decides to use the songs of The Beatles, he is cajoled by his parents into performing for them in their humble living room. (by the way his parents are played by Sanjeev Bhaskar and Meera Syal who I have LITERALLY seen in about 1000 British TV shows and movies by now… idk maybe Yesterday was intended as a semi-ensemble cast film? Since there are other “appearances” by other known faces… ok whatever.) I guess this scene of him, superstar-to-be, sitting down at his piano in the claustrophobic living room with his parents exaggerating their domestic inclinations and comforts (by holding their cups of tea and settling themselves into their sofa-chairs etc) is meant to be comedic, we’re meant to laugh at how his parents have no idea the genius that is about to be released unto the stratosphere embodied by their all-great son Jack Malik, and it’s a predictable scene: his parents get disturbed by the bell and other things in the first 10 seconds of his performance, so Jack has to begin Let It Be 4 times over and never gets past a few lines… and okay, it’s funny because they are treating Jack’s “performance” as such because he has never before produced anything worthy of actual attention and has never performed in any manner that has demanded any respect given that he was an absolutely mediocre singer, but the scene is ruined by how Jack was written to have to react. Instead of taking it in his stride and recognizing that his parents are taking it so lightly because they have no idea how big the song is going to be because they have had no reason to expect anything great of him before, Jack throws a big fucking tantrum and asks why they cannot and have not respected the greatest song to ever be written etc etc… and okay, maybe this was intentional because we are to infer that Jack’s reaction is a projection of his own insecurities about releasing entirely unoriginal songs as his own, perhaps he has doubts about whether they would do as well as they did when The Beatles themselves released them, perhaps he has doubts that he is the right person to do this at all, anxieties and fears about being able to get away with it all… Sure, but I don’t want to give the writers the benefit of this doubt. If I were to watch the scene with my eyes and ears and not my brain, all I’d see is a dumbass manchild with a temper and ego problem incapable of accepting responsibility for the decisions he’s made, plus being unnecessarily cruel and disrespectful to his simple parents who want only to support him, if superficially. Basically, he’s dumb and the worst protagonist you’d want for a romcom.

But let it not be said that I am an extremist with my views: there was one sub-plot that showed promise and that made me think perhaps there was more to this film than the nothingness it had conveyed hitherto. When Jack played in Moscow, as an opening act for Ed Sheeran, we saw the haunting face of a large man in the crowd, carrying a knowing look in his eyes. It gave us a great sense of unease, seeing his concerned face contrasted with the throng of pretty girls screaming their hearts out (you know, à la “Moscow girls make me sing and shout”). Then later we see an English lady (played by the iconic amazing Sarah Lancashire who I know and love so so much from Happy Valley), who like the Russian man, carries the same speculation in her sharp eyes, as she sees Jack manically making his way through Liverpool, visiting key landmarks like Eleanor Rigby’s grave, Strawberry Fields, Penny Lane etc because, as she says to him later, “you cant write songs about places you’ve never been to”. So anyway, this odd pairing make up the only 2 other known humans in the world who for unexplained reasons also remember the existence of The Beatles, and thus recognize that Jack’s positioning of the entire Beatles discography as his own original work to be fraudulent.

So we as audiences who hardly care for this dumbass Jack but have still held on to some hope that the film would bring us some element of surprise and karma for this annoying fraud (whose singing voice by the way is literally the most forgettable ever), we would have loved nothing more than for Jack to face the sound of music (as Mother Mary comes to him). But instead of, I dunno, chopping his head off or outing him to the world, the mysterious duo thank him for bringing their much beloved Beatles songs back into the world, the whole who has forgotten them. They thank him for doing justice to the memory of the greatest band of all time, and together the duo and Jack dance and cheer in a side room minutes before Jack goes out to perform for the biggest crowd he’s ever played to. It’s just…  lame and not even a satisfying easy way out. Oh remember above when i said there was literally only about one scene of Jack smiling, this was it. And he only smiled because obviously he was relieved at not having his secret revealed to the world by these two..... ughhh WE DONT WANT TO SEE YOU HAPPY!! WE HATE U!!

Okay haha I shall end this as I do all my other ‘reviews’… by saying that I’m lazy already and cant really be bothered to continue but shall conclude by proclaiming that this film sucked… not in a remotely camp or quiet or interesting manner either. It was just boring and bad and of great disrespect to the music of The Beatles.

 -------------------

Omg I have just attempted to read some actual reviews of this film and some actually think it’s ‘charming’ and ‘surprisingly moving’ and that the leads have ‘chemistry’………….. that’s literally the fakest thing I’ve ever heard lol bye bye!

[ensorcellogical]

Tag Meme Thing

Thanks @pincurlsandpixiedust for tagging me!

1) Coke or Pepsi? Coke

2) Disney or Dreamworks? hrr thats hard. I like them for different reasons.

3) Coffee or Tea? tea

4) Books or movies? movies

5) Windows or mac? mac 

6) D.C. or Marvel? i dont really have a preference

7) Xbox or PlayStation? xbox

8) Dragon age or mass effect? Idk im not familiar with these

9) Night owl or early riser? night owl, ive screwed up my sleep schedule so bad.

10) Cards or chess? hm.. chess

11) Chocolate or vanilla? usually chocolate

12) Vans or converse? vans

13) Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar? ????... idk

14) Fluff or angst? its close, but i can’t resist some good angst

15) Beach or forest? i love the forest

16) Dogs or cats? im more of a dog person, but why cant I have both?

17) Clear skies or rain? definitely rain

18) Cooking or eating out? just depends on my mood

19) Spicy or mild food? spicy

20) Halloween/Samhain or solstice/yule/Christmas? the hardest question ive ever been asked. I could never choose

21) Would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot? lil too cold, I love the cold and bundling up.

22) If you could have a superpower what would it be? I bring a wave of drama in my wake but never actually get involved. Everyone around me is having a melt down but i just sit back with my popcorn. ok no for real Id want transformation, because that comes with other perks like turning into a bird to fly and also its just super rad.

23) Animation or live action? animation, but im majoring in it so im biased

24) Paragon or renegade? what are all these questions i dont understand.

25) Bath or shower? shower, i only ever take showers.

26) Team Cap or team Ironman? Cap

27) Fantasy or sci-fi? hhrg i cant decide.

28) Do you have 3 or 4 favorite quotes if so what are they? gosh probably but i cant think of them now that im being asked. the only thing coming to mind is that one Gandalf quote. 

“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

29) YouTube or Netflix? Netflix

30) Harry Potter or Percy Jackson? Harry Potter. Classic. My childhood.

31) When do you feel accomplished? not often but im feeling pretty freakin good about life right now. The animation program here is really hard to get into and Ive been working super hard and I think I have a good chance.

32) Star Wars or Star Trek? star wars

33) Paperback books or hardcover books? hardcover makes me feel fancy

34) Fantastic beasts or Cursed child? definitely fantastic beasts. Not a fan of cursed child

35) Rock or pop music? probably rock

36) What is the most important thing in your life? my family and friends and being happy

37) Mountains or sea/ocean? I love both but i have to say mountains. Ive lived by mountains most of my life and I love hiking and camping. Theyre majestic and beautiful.

38) How do you express yourself? mostly through my sketchbook. Im pretty individualistic but not very expressive about it

39) What’s the first book/film that really counted to you? harry potter is the first thing I can remember being really invested in. It was the first time I experienced a work of fiction really personally and intensely.

40) What’s your element (air, water, etc.)? air

41) If you could travel anywhere, where would you go? hm, i went to paris and florence and rome last summer but it went way too quickly. Id like to go back but with a lot of time to explore and experience everything. Or id like to rent an rv and roadtrip across the US, i love roadtrips.

42) If you had any job in the world, what would it be? Ideally a concept artist or animator for like dreamworks or disney or something. 

43) If you were granted three wishes, what would they be? 1) every dog; pet 2) i can shoot cookies out of my hands 3) a fairy godmother ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

44) If you had to eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?    mocha icecream

45) If you could only have one, which social media platform would you use for the rest of your life? tumblr : / i hate it but i love it

46) Slytherin, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, or Gryffindor? Ravenclaw

47) What’s your favorite food discourse guilty pleasure? pineapple on pizza is great you filthy heathens

48) (Ash’s question) is there something that you regret not doing, or a chance you regret not taking? what is it and why do you regret it? I really like this question, i guess i regret a lot of my high school experience. I fell into the trap of thinking that my grades and how i measured up to others influenced my self worth. I was kind of caught in a limbo state where i really cared about how successful I was but also didnt care or try at all because I could never measure up no matter how hard I tried. Moral of the story; you do your own thing and achieve your own personal best.

49) Andrea’s question: what’s something that never fails to make you nostalgic? certain scents I cant quite describe. usually seasonal, like fall leaves or sunscreen and chlorine

My question: what does your favorite clothing item or outfit look like?

I tag @astral-mechanical @larimonium @nostradamus-was-right and really anyone who wants to do this!